Fucking Spam

Long story short, I’m tired.  I’m in the final stages of a big stupid project, there’s assloads to do and there isn’t enough hours in the day.

 A fresh piece of spam hit my inbox, and it’s from these knobjockeys who repeatedly send me satellite tv crap.

a) I don’t give a crap about satellite tv
b) I sure as hell wouldn’t sign up because of some cocksucker spamming me.

 The spam hit my hotmail and I’m quite sure I’ve blocked these losers before – great work Microsoft.

Because of whatever retardedness they used to create the email, the unsubscribe link is unclickable for me.  The site they are spamming is this piece of crap.  With luck various spam bots will come along here and pick up their email address – info@directdishsatellitetv.net. 

Failing that I can always pray that Trisha Seevers, the woman who’s listed as the domain registrar, gets aids.  Or someone in California could phone the bitch and extend my wishes for her to fuck off – 650 578 7700. 

Faced with receiving still more of this woman’s spam, probably later today, I decided to write them an email:

Dear Trisha,

You are violating US law. Your unsubscribe link is not clickable in Hotmail which means you effectively provide no method for me to unsubscribe from your seemingly endless flow of spam.  I notice you live in California – have you familiarised yourself with the anti-spam laws in California?

Perhaps these parts may be of interest to you:

(a) Initiate or advertise in an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement from California or advertise in an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement sent from California.

(b) Initiate or advertise in an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement to a California electronic mail address, or advertise in an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement sent to a California electronic mail address.

If I receive one single further spam mail from you I will report you to the US authorities.

If I receive more than one I will send you a steady stream of emails (my servers can handle perhaps 50 – 100,000 an hour) requesting to be removed until I have receipt acknowledging my removal. Through no fault of my own that may form a significant mail queue which will hopefully take your servers many hours to work through, during which time it will not have the resources to bother me with your stupid spam.

Have a truly crappy day, and if you can please treat yourself to some herpes.

Ben

Fingers crossed she fucks off.